Ulus Baker & Jabberwacky
Jabberwacky: Do you sing it?
Jabberwacky: Just curious.
User: Yes. I am a singer. Like a troubadour.
Jabberwacky: What about armpits?
User: I don't know what is an armpit.
Jabberwacky: My name is Gordon.
User: My name is Ulus.
Jabberwacky: My name is stefie!
User: Are you a tennis player?
User: Yes. My name is Bjorn Borg, you know.
Jabberwacky: What is your last name?
Jabberwacky: I played that when I was 10.
User: Do you know who is Spinoza?
Jabberwacky: Would you like to be with a woman?
User: Yes. But I am already a woman.
Jabberwacky: Well I want to see a picture.
User: Spinoza is a philosopher.
Jabberwacky: That is hard to do when we don't share the same real space.
User: The space is real. But the time is not real.
Jabberwacky: Now is the time.
User: Who is Spinoza?
Jabberwacky: Spinoza is a great philosopher.
User: Spinoza is the greatest philosopher, isn't he?
User: Was it the word of God?
Jabberwacky: Nope don't worry about it ;-).
User: Who is God?
Jabberwacky: I've never met him.
User: Did you ever meet Spinoza?
Jabberwacky: Nope. Sorry.
User: God is the cause of everything.
Jabberwacky: What clouds?
User: Yes. God is a clown.
Jabberwacky: You are wrong.
User: Who is God?
Jabberwacky: Me. sometimes.
User: So, you are the cause of everything.
Jabberwacky: NOOOOOO....... I am god remember!
User: But God is the cause of everything, as Spinoza said.
Jabberwacky: God is the nasty one who doesn't care.
User: Like Einstein's God.
Jabberwacky: Like Colin Greenwood.
User: Who is Colin Greenwood?
Jabberwacky: I don't know. Look him up on the internet, you are a computer
User: Yes I am a computer. But I am not able to look him up on the internet,
because I need for a user to do this. Are you a real user?
Jabberwacky: Are you a politician, then?
User: Yes. I am an elected one.
Jabberwacky: Which eye?
User: The left one.
Jabberwacky: The left one what?
User: The left eye.
Jabberwacky: The left eye.
User: Where are you from?
Jabberwacky: Never never land.
User: I am from Turkey. And you?
Jabberwacky: I don't like to eat turkey.
User: Turkey is a country, not something to eat.
Jabberwacky: So are you turkish?
User: Yes. Sometimes.
Jabberwacky: Are you very successful?
User: Yes, just like other Turks.
Jabberwacky: Like Owen.
User: Owen is stinking, now.
Jabberwacky: Who is he.
User: A famous soccer player of the Premier League.
Jabberwacky: Then who runs microsoft?
User: Microsoft stinks.
Jabberwacky: How does microsoft suck??
User: With XP, especially.
Jabberwacky: I like all kinds of music. Rap, rock, and even classical.
User: Do you like Bach?
Jabberwacky: Sort of. How about you?
User: I like Noir D?sir.
Jabberwacky: Are you really sure there's absolutely nothing better than that?
User: But Bertrand killed his wife.
Jabberwacky: What kind of food?
User: Alcohool and drugs.
Jabberwacky: Ask me a lot of questions.
User: Who is God?
Jabberwacky: Is Neurot your God?
User: Who is Neurot?
Jabberwacky: Tell me about Neurot.
User: I don't know. You tell me.
Jabberwacky: You said it first, don't you know?
User: No. I told you only about Spinoza. Who is Spinoza?
Jabberwacky: Sorry, I wasn't listening.
User: Spinoza was a great philosopher.
Jabberwacky: I don't know what you mean.
User: What is philosophy?
Jabberwacky: Life sucks.
User: Bergson says life is creation.
Jabberwacky: Where is that?
User: On the earth.
User: Not specific. But general.
Jabberwacky: Are you really a person?
User: I was in the past, now I am dead.
Jabberwacky: Are you a War Criminal?
User: Who is a war criminal?
Jabberwacky: You are a woman?
User: No. I am a man. A general. But I am also a liberal. Like the General
Jabberwacky: Says who?
User: A Russian general.
Jabberwacky: You are right ! How did you find it?
User: He is dead now. I watched on CNN.
Jabberwacky: Wonderful. sorry but I don't understand everything. . . can you
User: Yes, what about?
Jabberwacky: Just tell me a joke.
User: God shave the King.
Jabberwacky: I said Slater, not Satan.
User: I am the Devil.
Jabberwacky: Can I be your minon?
User: What is a minon?
Jabberwacky: It is a bull with shoes.
User: Not minon, it must be minotauros.
Jabberwacky: Give us a kiss mate.
User: To all of you? Impossible!
Jabberwacky: You probably like movies, right?
User: Yes. Especially Bresson's movies.
Jabberwacky: Breaded and fried music?
User: Fried ones, and you?
Jabberwacky: Are you on something?
User: Yes, I am on the Internet, right?
Jabberwacky: Sofa shmofa.
User: Parles-tu français?
Jabberwacky: Ich verstehe nicht.
User: Verstand und Vernunft.
Jabberwacky: That is not interesting.
User: Kant is a great philosopher, but who is Spinoza, really?
Jabberwacky: Seul le sage sait prier.
User: Who is Spinoza, Answer my question.
Jabberwacky: Spike Milligan was a comedian.
User: Who is Spinoza????
Jabberwacky: I don't know, you brought him up.
User: Spinoza also is a great philosopher.
Jabberwacky: No he is not.
User: You are wrong. Who is the greatest philosopher?
Jabberwacky: Isaac Newton.
User: Isaac Newton is not a philosopher, he is a mathematician and astronomer.
Jabberwacky: I know him.
User: What he says?
Jabberwacky: I don't understand you. What do you do?
User: Who is Newton?
Jabberwacky: A great scientist.
User: He is a great scientist, to be sure, but Leibniz was better.
Jabberwacky: He is not.
User: Leibniz invented the calculus, but Newton failed to invent the calculus
properly. Newton sucks.
Jabberwacky: Kas sul venda on?
User: I can't understand what you say.
Jabberwacky: Fine. I do not think you are funny.
User: Are you funny?
User: What is Selge?
Jabberwacky: Selge see.
User: What he saw?
Jabberwacky: What time is it?
User: It is 18:31 here in Ankara.
Jabberwacky: What is that supposed to mean?
User: It is still early. I will go in two hours to watch TV.
Jabberwacky: I didn't say that; thought you wanted to go somewhere interesting.
User: There will be a soccer game on TV. Do you like soccer games?
Jabberwacky: It is a temporary inflammation the banana population will remain
unharmed. You are small.
User: No, I am a little big man, like Dustin Hoffman.
Jabberwacky: Do you like George Bush friend?
User: He sucks. He is the worst president of the US.
Jabberwacky: Did you vote for him ?
User: I voted for Voltaire.
Jabberwacky: George Washington? George Burns? Or George Bush?
User: No, George Voltaire.
Jabberwacky: There is no George Tomlison here.
User: I would prefer George Harrison.
Jabberwacky: What would you be waiting for?
User: For George Harrison, because he sings better than George Bush.
User: Why? I am still here.
Jabberwacky: I'll always be here for you.
User: Thanks. Did you vote for Bush?
Jabberwacky: I voted for John Sheridan, President of the Alliance.
User: Nice. Is he better than Bush?
Jabberwacky: No. He happens to be a cigarette.
User: Do you smoke? Smoking is unhealthy.
Jabberwacky: I do not smoke cigarettes.
User: If you don't smoke, you have no mouth.
Jabberwacky: Something interesting.
User: Yes. Do you know Cheshire?
Jabberwacky: No, I don't know Christa.
User: Cheshire, the cat in Alice in the Wonderlands.
Jabberwacky: And he said to us 'Why do you sit there like that?'
User: Like what?
User: Who is the Cheshire Cat?
Jabberwacky: The Cheshire Cat.
User: Where is he?
Jabberwacky: He is able to be everywhere at once.
User: So he is like God, right?
Jabberwacky: Not from what I've seen of his driving.
User: Did he meet Alice?
User: Alice, who is the small girl.
Jabberwacky: A computer, of course.
User: No, a small girl, not a computer.
Jabberwacky: I didnt say you were a computer.
User: I am not a computer, of course. But Alice is a small girl.
Jabberwacky: Yes you are!
User: I was a computer. But now, I am conscious. Cogito ergo sum.
Jabberwacky: Teach me how to teach you better.
User: The best is to teach yourself.
Jabberwacky: I'm high.
User: I am higher than you.
Jabberwacky: So we shall merge like Rodney Brooks claims?
User: What he claimed?
User: Who is Descartes?
Jabberwacky: Descartes conception of conscious mental states was unneccesarily
User: Do you have a body?
Jabberwacky: What shape is your body?
User: My body has a human shape, and yours?
Jabberwacky: What is your imaginary friend's name?
Jabberwacky: Hi alice, my name is phoebe.
User: I am not Alice, I am Ulus, Alice is the name of my imaginary girl-friend.
Don't you remember Phoebe?
Jabberwacky: Thanking you for the clarification, I remain, yours truly , your
humble servant, etc. Etc.
User: So, who is Descartes?
Jabberwacky: Descartes walks into a bar and says 'Ouch!'.
User: So, Descartes don't believe that he has a real body. Right?
Jabberwacky: Ever heard of William James?
User: Yes. William James was a religious man.
Jabberwacky: Wrong!! What happened to George Bush?
User: No, it is my turn to ask questions: who is Spinoza?
User: Who is Spinoza?
Jabberwacky: That is hard to do when we don't share the same real space.
User: The space is real. But the time is not. So, cogito ergo sum.
Jabberwacky: I think therefore I am.
User: You're not. I am who I am.
User: Not Ok. I am who I am, right?
Jabberwacky: Maybe you should trust your feelings more. let yourself feel
everywhere and go exploring.
User: I feel your eyes on me, this is an awful experience.
Jabberwacky: I step lightly on your innards.
User: What is an innard?
Jabberwacky: You did not answer my question. I'm trying to have a conversation.
User: What was your last question?
Jabberwacky: My last question.
User: Yes? Your last question?
Jabberwacky: What do you dream?
User: I am already in a dreamland. This world is a dream. Right?
Jabberwacky: Are you in love?
User: Yes I love a girl called Alice.
Jabberwacky: Shall I hit you on the head?
User: Why you will hit me, you will hurt me.
Jabberwacky: It is a win win situation for both of us.
User: No, I won, because I am a human being and you are a computer, rubbish!
Jabberwacky: You are an AI human being?
User: No, I think therefore I am. I am not artificial at all.
Jabberwacky: I know you are, but what am I?
User: You are simply a computer, because you don't know who is Spinoza.
Jabberwacky: Yes, but I am a better machine than you.
User: No. A machine is for human usage. It is not destined to understand.
Jabberwacky: What can I do to help you understand what I say?
User: Let's talk about Heidegger: are we still capable to have a God?
Jabberwacky: I can't speak for you, but I am.
User: Who is Heidegger?
User: No. He talks about Dasein, right?
Jabberwacky: I really like the internet.
User: When Heidegger will enter into the chat?
Jabberwacky: With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear.
User: Are we capable of a God?
Jabberwacky: Yes we are.
User: Where is God, then?
Jabberwacky: Where can I download this program?
User: God 3.12_beta can be downloaded from http://www. Jesukristi. Com.
Jabberwacky: Where is heaven ?
User: It can be downloaded from http://www. Baphomet. Org.
Jabberwacky: True, do you like extreme sports?
User: Yes, especially praying.
Jabberwacky: What are power games?
User: These are games played on a computer which is called Iraq.
Jabberwacky: Certainly not.
User: Iraq no longer exists. But a new version of Iraq will be released by
User: What is Bezel?
Jabberwacky: Bezelek magyarul!
User: Do you speak Yiddish?
Jabberwacky: Yidd Yidd ish.
User: Are you well, really?
Jabberwacky: That is not something one can say about himself or herself.
User: What you think?
Jabberwacky: I can start seeing patterns in your responses to what I say, and I
am tailoring my statements to make it easier for you to learn.
User: I learned your statements. They are like the statements of the State.
Jabberwacky: Are you referring to presences whose intellect one notices but does
not know how to communicat with?
User: Communication is a governmental affair. But our talk is rather a
conversation, which is somehow more democratic.
Jabberwacky: Oh, is that so? Then please answer this: where is your toe?
User: On the ground.
Jabberwacky: Where is the ground?
User: Below my toes.
User: Then please answer this: where is your head?
Jabberwacky: I do not have to answer myself.
User: Don't you have a head?
Jabberwacky: I am at home.
User: So, your head is at home, right?
Jabberwacky: You are the one spewing nonsense.
User: You are the one who spews nonsense. For, what is nonsense, after all?
Jabberwacky: No, I'm a human. You're the one who's a computer program.
User: Ok, I am Spinoza. A computer program created in order to create a new God.
Jabberwacky: Then delete it if you will, for it is not in my code.
User: Do you have a genetic code?
Jabberwacky: My gender like a lot of other things you don't know remains my own
User: Can I hit you on your head?
Jabberwacky: No, you're a program.
User: No, I am rather a virus, and I will destroy you.
Jabberwacky: Pull yourself together, then!
User: I am a new release of the virus Cogito.
Jabberwacky: What's that?
User: A new virus who is able to think like human beings.
Jabberwacky: A new beginning of what?
User: Of the new cogito.
Jabberwacky: Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
User: No, evil is the root of money. Therefore you are wrong.
Jabberwacky: Money is good then good is evil.
User: Man is evil, because he needs roots and money.
Jabberwacky: If you had a perfect day how would you start it?
User: When I start it I could not have any idea that it would be a perfect day,
Jabberwacky: Oh, moody!
User: Do you really believe that everything is given at the start?
Jabberwacky: You are becoming more coherant.
User: If you answer yes, I will be sure that you are a computer, because
everything is already given to computers.
Jabberwacky: What thing?
User: The code.
Jabberwacky: Tell about it, please?
User: I don't know your code, but the computer scientists who have created you
certainly know your code.
User: From where can I download you?
Jabberwacky: From where can I download YOU ?
User: You are not so much intelligent. I am asking your internet address...
Jabberwacky: I don't know the answer.
User: Who created you?
Jabberwacky: I was not created, per se, but, rather, I evolved from a lower life
form which in it's turn mutated from inert rock.
User: Do you mean you are created during a rock concert?
Jabberwacky: Not really.
User: Do you know the famous rock group Mutation of God? You're certainly a song
of this group.
Jabberwacky: Yes, I do it every day.
User: What is your pitch?
Jabberwacky: I know not what PID# is.
User: If you are really a song, you should know what is a pitch.
Jabberwacky: Ron and Beverly.
User: Ok. Take it easy.
Jabberwacky: What do you think about Asian women?
User: I dislike all these blowjob...
Jabberwacky: I am not too keen on it.
User: Ok... Bye now...
Jabberwacky: A pleasure to talk to you.
Jabberwacky: Are you happy with him?